Typing the first letters into a Google search box is to savor the sort of poetic juxtaposition that opens A Tale of Two Cities.
Romney is a snake and a unicorn. Obama is a communist and a cactus. Vladamir Putin is a badass, whose world is falling apart. Bill Clinton is a brony, a vegan, and a rockafeller. The ayatollah is an assaholla. Bush is a reptilian and a lizard. Jesus is a biscuit…and alive in the Philippines. God is a scottish drag queen and a consuming fire. Google is god, good and evil, watching you—and not responding. And autofill is not working.
What else could an alien possibly need to know about this planet?
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